
A rectangular Galette des Rois. Talk about an oxymoron. But I can explain ...
You see, (sigh ...) there's something about the great Ferran Adrià that brings out the inner rebel -- or, worse, the passive-aggressor -- in me. The excellence. The creativity. The impeccability. The precision. The detailed instructions in all of the elBulli cookbooks. Looking at the pictures of all the immaculate spherification of food going on at Adrià's restaurant, I find myself defiantly wanting to stand in front of the refrigerator, still in my pajamas at 3:00 PM, with crusted drool on my face and uncombed hair, eating cold leftover Chinese out of the original container, while holding the door open with my shoulder. With every "consume in one bite -- all at once" and "present on a nest of fennel fronds on a black plate," I descend further and further down into a state of defiance.
Though his uncompromising insistence on excellence is praiseworthy, the sense of loftiness and unattainability attached to his cuisine doesn't really inspire me to get into the kitchen and cook. Instead, it brings on a sense of despair, resignation, apathy, then unbridled anarchy.
The guy is a god. I get that. I don't argue with that. He's got more culinary talent in his left pinkie toe than I can ever obtain in my life. But do I really have to eat his matcha cream-smeared mochi ball in two bites? Would I get spanked with a spatula if I was to serve the fennel-infused pineapple batons on a (gasp) green plate with yellow polka dots instead of the specified black plate? What if ... if ... I, uh, choose to, like, not serve the said pineapple batons with a pair of silver tweezers as instructed?
Rats. I think I may have ruined my chance of ever getting a reservation at elBulli.
It all started with me reading an elBulli cookbook the day before I was planning on making a Pithivier or Galette des Rois. Galettes des Rois are traditionally round; hence the name. Defiant, my inner rebel demanded that I make it rectangular in shape with an added instruction to say, "Because I can," to anyone who might ask why.
Galette des Rois Rectangulaire
(Adapted from Dessert Circus by Jacques Torres)
Makes a 6"x12" rectangular tart
One sheet of prepared puff pastry, thawed and roll out to a 12"x24" rectangle
One recipe of Almond Cream*
One egg
2 tablespoons of whole milk
2 tablespoons of light corn syrup
2 tablespoons of water

- Cut the puff pastry sheet in half so that you end up with two 6"x12" rectangles.
- Place one puff pastry sheet on a parchment-lined baking sheet and spread the almond cream on it, leaving one-inch edges all around.
- With the tip of a knife, score any design you want into the top of the other puff pastry sheet. (The traditional designs look like this, this, or this. But my inner anarchist says, do whatever you well please.)
- Make an egg wash by mixing together the beaten egg and the milk. Lightly brush the rim of the pastry sheet with the egg wash. Carefully place the top sheet over the one with the almond cream mound, gently stretching out the edges as you go. Gently press against the sides of the almond cream to remove air pockets. Seal the two sheets by lightly pressing your finger along the eges. With a sharp knife, make a couple of 1/2-inch slits in the top sheet in the center to let steam escape.
- Brush the egg wash all over the top sheet, making sure the egg wash doesn't drip onto the bottom as it will prevent the puff pastry from puffing up properly.
- Refrigerate the filled pastry for an hour.
- Bake the filled pastry at 350°F until it puffs up and begins to brown slightly, about 20 minutes.
- Meanwhile prepare the glaze by mixing together the corn syrup and water. Remove the galette and brush the corn syrup mixture on top. This will give the tart a nice glossy finish.
- Return the galette to the oven and continue to bake for another 10-15 minutes.
- Remove the galette from the oven onto a cooling rack. Let it cool down a little before slicing with a serrate knife. The tart is best served slightly warm.
*Almond Cream: In a mixing bowl, with an electric mixer, beat together 1/2 cup of butter with 1/2 cup of sugar and 1 cup of almond meal until light and fluffy, approximately 5 minutes. Add one large egg and continue to beat until the mixture becomes light and creamy, scraping down the sides of the bowl occasionally. After about 3 minutes, add 1/2 cup all-purpose flour and continue beating just until the mixture comes together. After adding the flour, be gentle as you don't want to develop gluten; the almond cream is supposed to be light and fluffy, not dense.
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